New year, new you? I need to lovingly interrupt that sentence.

Because most women I work with don’t need a “new” anything. They’re not a broken appliance. They’re a human who’s been carrying too much, for too long, while smiling and still showing up.

So if you’re reading this thinking, “I should feel excited about January but I mostly feel tired and a bit… flat,” you’re in the right place.

Let’s do a different kind of New Year. One that doesn’t involve pretending you’re a brand new person by Monday.

The “New Year, New You” myth (and why it makes you feel worse)

Here’s what “new year, new you” often translates to in real life:

• Do more.
• Be better.
• Fix yourself.
• Change everything.
• Don’t wobble.
• Don’t slow down.
• Don’t be messy.

And if you’ve spent your life being the reliable one, the helpful one, the one who holds it all together… you will absolutely try to achieve “new you” like it’s a project plan.

You’ll set the goals. Buy the notebook. Make the list.

Then January hits, life lifes, and you end up feeling like you’ve failed by the 7th.

It’s not you. It’s the standard.

What if you don’t need a new you?

What if you just need your spark back?

Not a personality transplant. Not a rebrand.

Not a total overhaul. Not a “be more confident” sticky note.

Just you, with a bit more oxygen.

Because the women I meet are capable. Properly capable.

They’ve built careers, families, businesses, teams, lives.

They’re not lazy. They're not lacking.

They’re overloaded and looping.

And looping looks like this:

• Thinking about the thing. Avoiding the thing. Feeling guilty.
• Doing busy tasks because the real task feels scary.
• Scrolling for answers you already know.
• Saying “I don’t know” when you actually do know, you just don’t trust yourself right now.

If you’ve been living in that loop, it makes sense your spark feels dim.

My dog Fudge has a better strategy than most of us

Tiny detour because I can’t not mention her.

My dog Fudge has two modes:

1. sleeping like she pays the mortgage
2. demanding chicken like she’s never been fed a day in her life

And you know what she doesn’t do?

She doesn’t lie in her bed whispering, “I should really sort my life out before I ask for what I need.”

She just… asks.

Meanwhile, we’re out here rewriting the same email for 40 minutes because we’re worried someone might think we’re “too much”.

If Fudge can commit to what she wants with her whole chest, you can send the message, set the boundary, raise the price, or ask for support.

The real New Year reset: fewer lies, more movement

This is the work I do as a confidence and business coach, and it’s simple in theory and powerful in practice:

Confidence isn’t something you wait to feel.

Confidence is what shows up after you move.

So instead of “new year, new you”, try this:

1) Choose one brave thing

Not ten. One.

One phone call. One offer. One post. One conversation. One decision.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s usually because you’re trying to do everything or you’re trying to do it alone.

Pick the one thing that, if you did it, would change your week.

2) Make it smaller than your ego wants

Most people think the options are:

• do it perfectly
• don’t do it at all

No. The third option is:

Do the smallest version of it for 10 minutes.

Ten minutes counts.

Ten minutes creates movement.

Movement creates momentum.

Momentum brings your confidence back.

3) Ask yourself the question that stops spiralling

When you’re looping, ask:

“What’s the next kind, brave step?”

Not the perfect step. The next one.

Kind means you’re not using shame as a motivator.

Brave means you’re not hiding from the thing that matters.

4) Borrow belief

Sometimes you don’t need a new plan.

You need a room. You need a person. You need support.

That’s why I’m obsessed with connection. It shifts everything.

It reminds you that you’re not weird, you’re not alone, you’re not behind.

You’re just human in a season.

“But Michelle, I don’t even know what I want.”

That’s okay.

Most people don’t need to know their whole five-year vision. They need to know their next step.

If you’re unsure, start with these questions. They’re my favourites because they pull you back to truth:

• What am I proud of, even if it feels small?
• What’s going well that I’ve been ignoring?
• What do I keep avoiding because it might actually work?
• What would make next week feel lighter?
• If I trusted myself for one day, what would I do?

Answer honestly. Then choose one action.

This is your permission slip

You don’t need to become a new you.

You need to come home to you.

The one who is kind and capable.

The one who tries, even when it’s messy.

The one who’s been holding a lot and is ready for things to feel lighter.

So here’s my New Year invitation:

Pick one brave step.

Make it smaller.

Do it this week.

Then celebrate it like it matters, because it does.

And if you want support…

• If you want connection and a night that shifts your energy, come to The Connection Live Event in Wimborne on Tuesday 27th January 2026 at 7pm.
• If you want personal support and a plan you’ll actually follow, my 1:1 coaching is for you.

Either way, you don’t have to do 2026 on your own.

If you’d like, reply or DM me the words SPARK and tell me what you’re looping on. I’ll point you to the best next step.